I know it feels like this election has gone on forever, but that’s because it has. While much (most) of the coverage has focused on what one party is saying about how the other party or parties are inept etc., it has not all been negative; indeed there is one topic that has been dealt with only in a positive manner. I am speaking, of course, of hair (for those of a certain vintage or students of Broadway cue: “Give me a head with hair/long beautiful hair/etc/etc.”
By now you will have seen, ad nauseaum, the commercials from the Conservative Party slagging Justin Trudeau. There are two versions of the ad that I’ve seen, both ending with the observation about Mr. Trudeau, “nice hair, though.”
I’m not quite sure why the Conservatives are so fixated on the wonder of Justin Trudeau’s hair – perhaps Stephen Harper secretly wishes to let his freak flag fly and drop the helmet hair look he has. It is also interesting that no one has made a big deal about the fact that if Thomas Mulcair wins the election, he will be the first bearded Prime Minister in Canadian history. Not a peep about this from the other leaders – nor frankly even from Mr. Mulcair who has not made his beard an election issue either. But I think there’s a potentially great role for Tom Mulcair’s beard.
You are probably aware that during the Stanley Cup playoffs players grow beards and leave them untrimmed to show… something – I’m not sure what, but it seems like it’s positive, some type of commitment to winning or teamwork or solidarity or whatever.
Anyway, I think Tom Mulcair should immediately start growing a playoff beard and when reporters ask him about it – and they will, what else can they talk about after 77 weeks on the campaign – he can say that his playoff beard shows his commitment to hard working Canadians or teamwork or winning or whatever. And then he can call out Stephen Harper and Justin Trudeau and say if they really care about Canadians and this election they’ll grow a playoff beard too. And what would Harper and Trudeau do? Harper fancies himself a hockey fan, he could hardly refuse to grow a beard and denigrate this great tradition?
I know you’re thinking, “What about Elizabeth May, she isn’t going to grow a hockey beard.” And while that’s true, it seems to me the whole election hockey beard thing would be great for her too. First she could point out how environmentally sound it is not to shave and then berate the other leaders for their childish (or more precisely adolescent) macho antics in having a beard growing contest in the middle of the election.
I humbly think this is one of my best ideas yet but when I suggested this to the NDP the response I received was addressed to “Dear Crackpot” which I thought was a bit harsh, but hey, I’m used to it.
One place where my innovative and groundbreaking (some may call crazy) ideas are still welcome is with the fine folks at Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room. I’m happy to say that the Living Room will once again be plying its trade the third Sunday of September, specifically, September 20, at 8 pm at the usual place the Free Times Café, on College just west of Spadina. And as always there will be great tunes from across many musical genres, fine food, a wide array of drinks and no cover. So escape from the election for a few hours with us, you’ll be glad you did.
Hope to see you there.
P.S. Another idea I had to spice up the interminable election campaign would be to have all the leaders try to play the bagpipes. If you think hearing bagpipes is an auditory assault, hearing them played by people who don’t know what they’re doing is marginally worse. I decided to drop the idea because I didn’t want to be responsible for pushing voter turnout even lower than its been.
|September 20th Set List|
|Set #1||Set #2|
|Meditation / Hornpipe
Comes A Time
Five Days In May
Long Black Veil
P Stands For Paddy
I Can See Clearly Now
Breathe In Breathe Out
Still A Part Of Me
Roses At The Pow Wow
Tracks Of My Tears
Unchain My Heart
I’ve Been The One
Night Rider’s Lament
Every Time You Walk Into The Room