August 16th @ Free Times Café

I understand that some people are critical of the 25 week federal election campaign (or whatever length it is) that we are now enduring – the longest campaign since the last longest campaign, which was apparently a long time ago. What critics don’t seem to understand however is that we need a long election campaign. This is a big country and it’s hard to get around, what with the trains not going everywhere and the telegraph being a cumbersome way of transmitting the news. Oh wait, that was 1915 – in 2015 we have airplanes and 24 hour news and the Internet so, yeah, why is this campaign 43 weeks long?

Even though it’s early in the campaign, it’s clear that all the parties have identified ‘hard-working Canadian families’ as the target audience. This seems wrong to me on a number of levels. First of all, what’s wrong with Canadian families that don’t work hard – don’t they count. You know the types; those twenty- and thirty-somethings with rich parents who just swan about with their designer children in four wheel drive Porsche strollers… They’re people too (I guess).

And what about single people. They don’t seem to count at all. It seems to me they are an untapped market. I would expect around week 95 of the campaign to see at least one of the parties throw the whole thing wide-open with a proposal that allows single people to split their income with their cat (or cats but they’ll cap the number of cats that you can split your income with at around 11 – and they all have to live at your home, strays don’t count). That will be a game changer.

And then there are the polls. We are already inundated with polls. There are polls looking at preferences for Prime Minister and first and second choices of parties, and now there are these things called rolling polls. A rolling poll sounds kind of like tossing the caber at the Highland Games (if you don’t know what that is, you have some burly guy in a skirt – or kilt or whatever you call it – pick up a telephone pole and try to throw it as far as they can and if they hit the guy playing the bagpipes they get an additional twenty points)

The other thing I don’t get about polls is that when you listen to them or read about them they always say something like they are accurate to between 2 and 3%, 19 out of twenty times. But I’ve read at least twenty polls in the last three weeks, so which one of them is totally out of whack, because according to their guidelines they’re going to totally miss the mark at least 5% of the time. But I never hear anyone say of a poll “Oh yeah, it’s pretty clear that’s the one out of twenty crazy polls so let’s ignore that” although that would be quite helpful.

Anyway, if you’d like to get away from the whole election craziness thing and go to a place where everyone is welcome, including hard-working families and slothful singles – and vice versa – why not come to the Free Times Café (on College just west of Spadina) on Sunday, August 16 to hear Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room do it’s musical thing. As always the show starts at eight and there is no cover. And you can be pretty sure that everyone (give or take 2 or 3% of the audience) will enjoy at least 19 out of every 20 songs we do.

It is at this point of these missives that I usually close off by saying something like ‘Hope to see you there’ but while I hope you do go, I won’t see you there because I’ll be on vacation.

Jonathan

P.S I usually take a crack at the bagpipes here but there’s no need because I already did that. You’re welcome.


August 16th Set List
Set #1 Set #2
Pipe Set
Drinking Whiskey Like Wine
I Go To Pieces
You Never Even Call My Name
Dance Hall Girls
All You Need Is Love
Can’t Do That
Two of Us
Girl
It’s Only Love
Back In The USSR
Taxman
5 Days In May
Famous Last Words
Psychic
Old Paint
Hanging Around The House
Ain’t It Funny How Time Slips Away
Cry If You Want To
I’m The Only One Who Lives Here
Always Late With Your Kisses
Unchain My Heart
Margaritaville