I want to talk about the marshmallow test. If you’re not interested in the marshmallow test you can just delete this email now, but I suspect you are at least a little intrigued.

To be clear, the marshmallow test is not something you do after the holidays to determine if the amount you ate and drank turned your body into something akin to a marshmallow – although that is a plausible explanation.

No, the marshmallow test is a long-recognized test dealing with delayed gratification. Here’s how it works, you bring a young child, around 5 years old or so, into a room and in the room, on a plate, on a table, is a marshmallow – one marshmallow. That’s it, there’s nothing else in the room – no screens, no games, no books, just one measly marshmallow. The child is told that they can eat the marshmallow if they’d like, nothing will happen to them if they do, but…if they can stay in the room for 15 minutes without eating the marshmallow then they get two marshmallows. There are variations of the test where some things are allowed in the room to get the child through those interminable 15 minutes, but the idea is the same.

What the child isn’t told is that there is an electrical charge in the first marshmallow and if they eat it, they get a big shock which will teach them a) the virtues of delayed gratification and b) never to trust an adult again. OK, this last part about the electrical charge in the marshmallow, that’s not true, I made that up. This might however explain why I wasn’t admitted to that graduate psychology program.

So back to the real test. While there is no one right response – at the end of the day they’re going to eat one or two marshmallows – researchers then follow these children as they grow up (but they’re not following them in a creepy way, they’re following them in a scientific way) and then they draw lots of conclusions about how kids who are able to delay gratification are more “mature” and “successful” and “competent” and blah blah blah.

Now I’m not against delayed gratification, though I’m not sure what the big deal is about the virtues of waiting, and anyway, it’s a just a marshmallow (or two). Have you had a marshmallow recently? They’re just sugar on top of sugar with some additional sugar. Maybe a mini one or two in a hot chocolate but otherwise I have no use for them – but then I’m not the target demographic for the test.

This then brings me, of course, to Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room. We will be holding our ever-popular annual all-request show on Sunday, December 14, at the legendary Free Times Café starting at 8 pm. The way the all-request show works is that you vote for the songs we play. All you have to do is go to https://galr.ca/vote/ and make your choices. You can do this now, or later, but please do it by 6 pm on December 7 because that’s when the poll closes. After you vote, you’ll have to wait a bit, but when you come to the show, you’ll get to hear the songs you voted for – and it’ll be well worth the wait (delayed gratification – see the connection is made!!!) because we’re going to be playing around 25 songs which is a hell of a lot better than two measly marshmallows.

In the interests of transparency, I do need to say that not everyone who votes for a song will hear the specific song they voted for because we have big catalogue of tunes and we can’t do all of them in one night – but I’m sure if you vote for a few tunes, you’ll certainly hear a couple. And if you’re not coming to the show, vote anyway, and then you can visit our website a couple days after the show to see what songs made the cut and how your involvement helped make the show. And that will make you feel good and indicate how “mature” you are.

Hope to see you there.

Jonathan

P.S. What’s the difference between marshmallows and the sound of bagpipes? No one has ever called the squall (or is it skirl) of pipes “sweet.”

December 14th (All-Request Show) Set List:
Set #1:	Set #2:
Christmas Carols I Believe in Father Christmas Christmas Island Saskatchewan Sky Get Us a Billion Hanging Round the House Down in the Boondocks The Wanderer Wichita Lineman Log Driver’s Waltz Night Rider’s Lament Harvest Moon Walk Away Renee Glenora Ferry	You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch My Favourite Things Everybody Knows Famous Blue Raincoat Taxman A Dollar Short and a Day Late Sucks to be Me A Prayer Across the Border Song For a Winter’s Night Ten Degrees and Getting Colder Now and Then There’s a Fool Such As I Brandy What Was I Thinking