I read this week that Cineplex, the company whose business model is selling overpriced pails of popcorn, had a very successful last quarter. The success was due to increased attendance for animated films aimed at kids and films with live actors based on cartoons aimed at teenagers and adults. Among the films that helped propel Cineplex to its dizzying heights was Batman vs Superman.
Really, Batman vs Superman.
Q. Batman vs Superman – who wins?
Why? Because he’s Superman! He can leap tall buildings in a single bound, he’s faster than a speeding bullet, he’s from another freaking planet.
Batman, on the other hand, isn’t even a man who is also a bat. Batman doesn’t sleep upside down in a cave; he doesn’t have super sonar hearing. He’s just a guy who likes to dress in black and pretend that makes him a Batman. If he was part bat he would have to be concerned about white-nose syndrome, a mysterious disease that’s killing millions of bats (http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/what-is-killing-the-bats-16824335/?no-ist). On the other hand, if he was part bat and didn’t have white-nose syndrome then you would hope he would let scientists find out why he was immune so he could save his bat brethren. But, as it turns out, he is not part bat, he’s just a bat poseur.
So who is Batman? He’s a rich white guy named Bruce Wayne who apparently never has to work – inherited money I guess. He also has a ward named Dick Grayson. A ward – who has a ward? And he also has a butler – Alfred. So basically Batman is more like a character out of a Jane Austen novel than he is a superhero. So why are we even having a discussion about who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman – it’s not even a contest.
And you know what else bothers me about Batman vs Superman; it’s just a sad, pale copy of the film that originated the genre. I am referring, of course, to that 1962 classic of Japanese cinema, King Kong vs Godzilla (and don’t ty to talk to me about any of the sequels or updates, the original is clearly the best). King Kong vs Godzilla is a real contest. Who would win a battle between the two? Not obvious is it? And that’s why it makes a great movie.
You know what else makes it a great movie – the dialogue. Here is most of the actual dialogue from King Kong vs Godzilla:
King Kong: Roar
That’s basically it. None of this crap about motivation, father issues, mother issues, what is good, what is evil – it’s just a great battle between two super strong animal type things (we know King Kong is an ape – an incredibly big ape, but Godzilla, not quite sure).
You know what, I’m going to do you a huge favour – here is 10 minutes from King Kong vs Godzilla (but not the ending I don’t want to spoil it for you). This is much better than anything that might emerge from the 2 ½ hours (!?!?!?!) that you will waste watching Batman vs Superman – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwhRQbvuMcE.
This of course brings me to Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room. Before I go into details about our show you may be wondering how a discussion of Batman vs Superman and King Kong vs Godzilla relates to a 10 piece band who plays a wide array of instruments and has a hugely eclectic set list. I think it’s pretty obvious so I’ll just move on to the gig details.
We will be playing our regular third Sunday of the month gig on May 15 at the usual place – the Free Times Café on College just west of Spadina – at the regular time – 8 p.m. Also as usual, there will be great food (but no tubs of popcorn) and lots of choice in drinks (but no 54 ounce plastic cups full of pop) and you can indulge in all those things because there is also no cover.
Hope to see you there.
P.S. As tribute to King Kong vs Godzilla the band will be doing our own version of the film;, we call it Bagpipes vs Musical Instruments.
|May 15th Set List:|
|Set #1:||Set #2:|
|Old Rustic Thing
Histoire sans parôle
I Saw Her Standing There
Neil Gow’s Lament For His Second Wife
Mine Till I Go
I Can See Clearly
Have I The Right
I Don’t Look Good Naked
Unchain My Heart
|1, 2, 3, 4
I’ve Got Boats To Build
Late John Garfield Blues
Chemical Workers Song
Still A Part Of Me
Alcohol And Pills
Right Here, Right Now
People Are Crazy
Rock N’ Roll Music