We are living in challenging times. There is tension in the Far East, the Middle East and Europe. And here in Ontario the premier resigned but is staying in office and is forcing all the elected officials to take an unspecified vacation while he waits for someone to take his place. But while all of this deserves our attention and concern, the matter that dominates the news day after day, night after night, is the hockey lockout.
Not to draw attention to myself, but I am a doer – a man of action if you will – and as a man of action I have come up with a plan to prevent any further hockey labour disruptions. Did you know that this is the fourth NHL labour dispute in the past 20 years (I think this is right because I think I heard this on a news report but to be honest I wasn’t paying that much attention and I’m too lazy to Google it, so let’s just go with it). In that same period there have been five presidential elections in the US. And there is the answer.
From now on, NHL agreements have to run four years and run out at the same time as the US elections. In the event of a lockout or strike, each presidential debate will have 15 minutes on the NHL. In terms of sides, the NHL owners, who are basically very, very rich people with huge egos who like to boss people around will sit with Republicans and the players who are just rich people who get paid a lot to entertain folks will sit with the Democrats who tend to be supported by actors who are, when you think about it, rich people who get paid a lot to entertain folks. Just knowing that they will be part of the debates should get the parties together, and if not, having to try to explain why they are holding whatever positions they are holding to the general public should force them quickly into a solution.
I know some people will object and say “But why the US election, hockey is a Canadian game.” If that was the case then why is there a hockey team in Phoenix, why are there two teams Florida for God’s sake. Hockey is an obsession in Canada but the cause of the disputes is found down south.
So that is the long-term solution (and you don’t have to thank me, that’s what a man of action does). What about in the short-term. Well, for those folks looking for a fix on a Saturday night when the ACC is dark and Hockey Night in Canada is but a memory (and Don Cherry is mercifully mute) I am pleased to say that Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room will be holding its show this month on Saturday, October, 27. So rouse yourself from your despair, pull yourself off the couch and head down to the Free Times Cafe at College and Major (just west of Spadina). We go on at 8 pm and there is no cover. And the food is better and way cheaper than at the ACC and the music is way better too (I mean, I love Stomping Tom but how often can you hear The Hockey Song). And for those of you who like the new Hockey Night in Canada theme song (there must be two or three of you) we have bagpipes too.
Hope to see you there – and look on the bright side, the Leafs have not lost a game yet this year.
Watch Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room on YouTube:
A Prayer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9xWq5lQY0g – NEW
For Your Love – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7dJj5THh7s
Glenora Ferry – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PbIIRlvnzQ
Lost on the Bayou – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CK1inei4Cg
People Are Crazy – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BBxK5aXGRQ