What do we really know about Druids? I certainly know very little about them and I’m much too busy (or perhaps make that much too lazy) to do any research about them. Yet at this time of year I find my mind turns on occasion to Druids.

I suppose it’s because what little I know about Druids, or what misinformation I have picked up about them, suggests that the winter solstice was a really big deal for them. And yes, I know that there are present day Druids so I probably shouldn’t say the solstice WAS a big deal for them because I’m sure it’s STILL a big deal for them – gathering around the solstice tree, singing solstice songs, drinking mulled something or other – but those are the modern day Druids.

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As I’m sure almost all of you are aware, Toronto recently had its election for mayor. Much ink was spilled discussing the election, contemplating the results, pontificating on its meaning. Despite all that has been said about the election, the real point has been missed. Let me explain.

The three top vote getters in the election were, in order, Tory, Ford and Chow. Despite the emphasis on what made the candidates different there were at least two important things that they shared. First, all of their last names were four letters long. Second, all of their last names were also nouns (a proper noun in one case). It is also true that two of the names were verbs but we’ll leave that for the moment. On top of that, the previous mayor, also a Ford but a different Ford from the one that ended up running (it can get confusing) had a four letter proper noun name.

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I’ve been thinking recently about what it is that makes Canada unique. The struggle to define Canadian identity is of course one that has been going on since Canada became a country. It has engaged the minds of some of the smartest women and men in this country – some of the dumbest too – take a bow Don Cherry.

Now I am hardly among the smartest people in this country (and I can see all the heads of those reading this little missive nodding in agreement at this point) but I think I have something to contribute to this debate. I think Canada should be known as a nation of turtle smugglers. That’s right, turtle smuggling.

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I often find myself at a loss when someone asks me to describe the music of our band (I am here of course referring to Gordon’s Acoustic Living Room, whose next gig I will shortly announce). Before I discuss how I try to resolve this dilemma, you may be wondering how it is that anyone comes to inquire about the music of the Living Room at all. It’s not as though we’re particularly well known – although we do have videos on YouTube most of which have over 100 hits and one of which is in the four digits – putting it behind any video with a cat but ahead (just barely) of the guy who reviews power tools in Swedish while wearing a panda bear costume.

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Ever since there was rock n’ roll there have been warnings from doctors, gleefully picked up and disseminated by the media, about the dangers of this evil music. Rock n’ roll encouraged dancing which, well you know what that leads to; and then there were the tight pants on the boys and the girls which, well you know what that leads to; and then the volume and the lights etc.,, etc., etc.

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Hello All you fine Roomers and fans of GALR

As you may know, Caledon County (consisting of Stephanie on fiddle, Gaye on guitar and Rory ‘Gus’ on pipes) is a subset of G.A.L.R., and the whole damned lot of them will be part of a Scottish Celtic Concert on June 21st.

Yes, your favourite musicians will be playing The El Mocambo, one of the most iconic music venues in the city, as part of a fabulous concert mounted by The St. Andrews Society of Toronto in celebration of the 700th Anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn and Scottish Independence.

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I don’t want to jinx it, but I think I am now willing to come out publicly and say that winter is done. Yes, I’m pretty sure we have about six months before we have to worry about seeing how the snow flies (and by the way, I thought the snow flies were particularly bad last winter, the fact that they’re white means you can’t see them and they really did bite this time around).

We’re almost at that time when Torontonians start complaining about the humidity. I know you promised in March, ‘If summer would only come, I swear not to complain about how humid it is’ but you’re going to break that pledge pretty soon, because that’s what we do – we swear we’ll never forget how uncomfortable and cold we were when we’re uncomfortable and cold, but then a couple months later we do forget and then go on about how hot it is.

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Recently the Globe and Mail ran an article on the ukulele with the headline “The ukulele strikes a chord with the in crowd” talking about how the uke has become an instrument of choice for hipsters. Now it is important to recognize at the outset that if you are relying on the Globe and Mail to determine what is in and what hipsters are doing, the odds are quite good that you will be a year or two at least behind the times.

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I want you to know that I tried to think of other topics for this missive – the Quebec election, Crimea, Game of Thrones – all the burning issues of our time – but I kept getting drawn back to the break-up of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.

Except it isn’t a break-up or a split or a d-i-v-o-r-c-e, it is, according to Gwyneth – a “conscious uncoupling.” Now I understand that as special people different than you and me, folks like Gwyneth and Chris can’t just throw in the towel, but conscious uncoupling?

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